Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Down with the cold. :( And a look back at last Sat..
wow. it's been a week since i last blogged, & quite a few days since i last touched my comp. just too lazy & tired after work to do anything online. finally get the chance to do so today - off day! =D
BUT.. what a way to spend the off day - staying at home, trying to nurse myself to get better before going back to work tmr. all my plans of wanting to go out for some x'mas shopping & bargain hunting, gone down the drain. all thanks to this silly cold & cough that sprouted out of nowhere. it's giving me headaches when i cough. urghh. =(
wonder if i should take half a day off this Sat, to rest & make it for caroling prac 4-6..
Looking back on last Sat.. it was a really meaningful short session that we had at church among my choir friends. i had to rush down straight after work. but it was worthwhile just to be there for every single min of it. i have to admit: initally, i was skeptical about the whole issue of wanting to have a session. usually, i seldom feel anything strongly or get anything much out of sessions. i would always try very hard to dig deep down to feel smth, just like when i went to Shel's church & joined him for one of their prayer sessions, but, no offense Shel, in the end i usually get very little out of it. the hymns & stuff are great, the quietness to do some personal reflections.. but somehow the end product's the same - it just doesn't do much for me. i was actually dreading that this was just going to be another one of those sessions, no different. & i was also wondering: why is it that our choir always seem to be in some sort of crisis?
I couldn't have been more wrong abt my feelings. The session was a great time to quieten oneself down, to reflect on our lives, our involvement & commitment to the choir; to take a good look at our own priorities, & where does God fit into all this. The hymns that were sung provided the wonderful atmosphere to quieten our hearts & souls, to really have a clear mind to think & do some reflections. True, all of us in the choir have matured, in the midst of growing up; our priorities have differed as compared to previous years. some of us have studies to tend to, some have army commitments, & the rest, like me, have work, be it part-time or full-time. So much so that cracks in our bonding have appeared, our friendship not as strong as it should be; our feelings for each other, somewhat different, perhaps more bland as compared to the past. Add to the fact that half the choir left for Holy Spirit last year, leaving the other half to manage in St. Stephen; as well as ppl like Ernie & Jess leaving, the choir was, in my opinion, a 'lost' choir, with everyone heading in different directions & having different priorities. a choir that was united in mere presence, yet, also disunited in spirit & gradually pulling apart from each other. Without a shadow of a doubt, it has taken a toll on Andrea & Dawn, who have every right to feel jaded with our lack of commitments.
Things were thrashed out in the open, to quote Verena - 'everything laid bare on the table'. Any unhappiness, concerns, & personal feelings were voiced & shared among one another. There was agreements & disagreements. Tears were shed. Tissue papers passed around. Apologies were said & accepted. In the end, it just felt so good for everyone, with hugs being exchanged all round, especially for our leaders, Dawn & Andrea. Perhaps what Nick said best summed it up: Just because our priorities have changed, or maybe we have new friends, doesn't mean that we forget our old friends, that our feelings have to change.
It was the perfect way to start our preparation & build up to X'mas, caroling & all: by renewing our commitment to the choir & our friendship towards each other. For the first time this yr, I actually felt the X'mas chill!! As we carried on with our caroling practice after the session, I couldn't help but feel lucky & thankful to be among this special group of ppl. And to think that we actually thought an outing would bond all of us together! When in fact, a simple, quiet time together, was really all that we needed.
On an ending note, crises or rough times can be a double-edged sword: it can either pull ppl even closer together or further apart. It really depends on how we go about dealing with it. =)
Posted by darylhjm87 at 3:28 PM